Nudity Strikes Again – Tempe’s Bum?
Now, I have seen some things in my day and age, but never have I awoken to such a sight… I guess I should start at the beginning… Last night, I finished my final paper for college (that’s right! I am done!) Anyways, I am biking home and I pass by Arleigh and Brian’s on the way to my abode…as I am passing by i see a man with a bicycle rummaging through the trash… Of course, it is late, so my mind does the… “Just keep on biking, just keep on biking” …So, then I get home, proceed to grab the 18 pack of PBR from my fridge and walk over to Arls. …Blah, Blah, Blah… So I go back to my house and notice that there is a bike leaned up against my fence in my drive-way with a box of beer strapped to it… uh, what is this doing here? Anyways, I ignore it…go out, come home at 4 am and what do you know, the bike is still there… This morning i wake up for work and open my front door…there is a man standing outside my front fence, looking at me…
Him: Hey (in a drunken slur)
Me: Uh, hey
Him: That’s my bike
Me: Uh, okay…
Him: I lost my pants
Me: (thinking: holy shit, he is naked…! Gross!) Uh…
Him: Do you have any pajama pants I can wear?
Me: Um, no i do not, I am late for work, you cannot park your bike here, this is private property
Him: I need some pants
Needless to say, i left, as he started walking down the street…I was unsure as to if I should call the cops or not so I called my roommate who happened to be home and said she would watch out and call the PO-LICE if need be…
What a way to start the day… I was thankful I was not wearing glasses because a bums bum or wanker…I do not want to see!
What is it with people…and how did he lose his pants?
PO-LICE! ha.. nice play on words. A few other bum hot-spots
include the Walgreens on Broadway and Mill (1/2 a woman in
a motorized wheelchair tried to run me over for some jingle),
as well as the gas station on broadway near my office.. my favorite
line so far has to be “Give me money.”
I saw two bums at the bus stop by my house the other day…. one was poking the other in the head with a dollar bill and doing some sort of jigg.