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Who Should Play He-Man and She-Ra?

May 31, 2007

heman

So, it was just announced that “Matrix” producer Joel Silver will be producing a new version of He-Man for the big screen. AWESOME! For those of us who grew up, surrounded by the awesomeness of Greyskull and the like… this is going to be huge. Now, the debate is in the air of who should be cast as He-Man, and respectively as the hottie She-Ra… I would like your opinions. I already have my heart set on Christopher Walken as Skeletor.

cw

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10 Comments leave one →
  1. May 31, 2007 3:55

    First of all, I don’t appreciate not getting credit for suggesting Walken as Skeletor in the first place. You don’t need to put makeup on him, he’s just ready to go as Skeletor. I totally called it.

    Second, at first I wanted someone cool like The Rock to play He-Man, but then I remembered He-Man is a total gaywad, so I’d prefer for another total gaywad to be cast as He-Man, such as Heath Ledger or… Heath Ledger. Fucking gaywad.

    Third, although I think Scarlett Johansson would be perfect for She-Ra in terms of cup size, beauty and other ASSets, I wouldn’t want her tainted by Heath Ledger’s gay lips, so I’d prefer that it be some big-breasted but otherwise talentless whore straight from out of the adult film industry.

    You know… come to think of it, I don’t see why this upcoming He-Man movie shouldn’t be a straight up soft-core porn movie released straight to DVD. After Brokeback, there’s no more room for gayness on the big screen.

    Oh, and Will Ferrell should totally play He-Man’s mustached sidekick guy. You know, that guy with the helmet and the club? Yeah, only THEN might this gaystrocity of a movie be worth watching.

  2. mpowerposse permalink*
    May 31, 2007 3:55

    Well, El-douche, yes I give you credit for suggesting CW as Skeletor. However, in your horn-ball mind you seem to have forgotten two things… 1. She-Ra is He-Man’s twin sister (so Heath would be doing more than tainting Scarlett’s lips) and 2. He-Man and Teela had a thing going… so some other broad would be tainted by his lips. You Homophobic maniac…you should be brought outside and shot.

  3. May 31, 2007 3:55

    Listen, mpowerpussy, I don’t take kindly to folks who call me “homophobic maniac.” For the record, I’m a Homophobic Psycho, alright? Sheeesh.

    Moving on, brothers and sisters get it on all the time in soft-core porn movies, so I HADN’T forgotten about He-Man and She-Ra’s sibling relationship, thank you very much. I just figured that somewhere during the action, She-Ra wouldn’t be able to resist just standing back and watching He-Man and Teela going at it. Undoubtedly, Will Ferrell’s “helmeted” hero (get it?) will also get in on the action, making it the most powerful 4-way gang-bang in the history of adult entertainment.

    Here’s He-Man’s cumshot line: “I HAVE THE POWER!!” [SPLOOOOOSH]

    And this is what He-Man says to achieve an erection: “By the power of GreySkull” [goes from short and shribbled to a full glowing 9″]

    See? It’s way too easy. And while I’d love to see Scarlett getting stuffed, I wouldn’t want it be by a fag like He-Man. I still wouldn’t mind watching Walken poke some hot young chick though (don’t ask).

  4. May 31, 2007 3:55

    By the way, I called you mpowerpussy based on the fact that you’re a wuss and you don’t even eat meat, not because your vagina is all-powerful and majestic.

  5. mpowerposse permalink*
    May 31, 2007 3:55

    you know nothing about the wonders of my vagina and its gonna stay that way…cause i wouldn’t touch you with a ten-foot pole. nuff said.

  6. June 1, 2007 3:55

    I wouldn’t touch you with my ten-foot pole either…

  7. mpowerposse permalink*
    June 1, 2007 3:55

    He-man would stick his ten-foot pole right up your ass.

  8. June 3, 2007 3:55

    TRAVIS FIMMEL AS HE-MAN.

    My choice is that Australian model and actor Travis’Tarzn’Fimmel could play He-Man in a live action remake of Masters Of The Universe maybe yummy Jessica Biel could play Teela Tom Sellick as Man At Arms and Eva Longoria as the Sorcercess,yum.
    Fimmel could make a good He-Man than Dolph Lundgren if he gets the role bur I’m not sure.
    Thank You.
    BRUCE ACOSTA
    AUSTRALIA.

  9. August 22, 2007 3:55

    HE-MAN SOULD GO TO HHH THE ROCK PAUL WALKER STONE COLD OR JOHN CENA AND SH-RE SOULD BE THAT WOMAN FROM SPECIES

  10. Nunya permalink
    November 22, 2008 3:55

    Randy Couture should be the next He-Man, hands down!

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